today was really nice!! I hung out with EW and stelly after school and we walked to the gas station which was AMAZING cuz we haven't been able to hang out in so long. EW brought some country friend with her and for a second there I was scared she would be coming with us (I don't do very well around country kids) and I fear I was very rude and didn't talk to her at all.
Anyway. first was super fun- we just did a review packet the whole time and TC and I ate gummy worms (which I also shared with the guy behind us, I forget his name, trying to (regrettably) entice JM) and talked. TC says she finds it really funny how I laugh and stare at her blankly sometimes when I'm trying to process what she's saying (T T) she's also trying to get me to borrow this DVD for a movie called young hearts that she really likes !
2nd was much better than i would have expected. once we actually locked in, knox and EJ weren't so bad, luis was really nice, and actually so was ZW! luis and ZW were the main ones to help me cook (ZW and I did most of it), but it's not like EJ and knox were that bad.. they were kind of nice i suppose. lwk had to gentle parent them a bit but that's okay (_ _ ) ZW was a nice ally.. he actually locked in and helped me cook, and we got to be kind of friends ? like whenever EJ or knox did something dumb or if the soup was looking weird we would kind of side-eye each other and smile. and UGH i would totally like him but unfortunately he's not really looking for anything at the moment, his ex gf (who he broke up with like a week ago) is one of stelly's friends (and i do NOT want to make any enemies with that group) and MOST OF ALL i lowkey do not feel like having a crush rn. i'm kinda focusing on my friends rn !!! :D yippee kay-yay. anywayyyyz the soup was phenomenal (i'll make another page for recipes or something to store it - chunky tomato soup) but it was a chunky soup and ik it sounds like it would suck but it was actually tres magnifique and i def want to try and recreate it. i had to have some of the burnt grilled cheese, but that is a-OKAY! i really enjoyed it and talked to KW and JS while I ate :3 at the beginning of cooking it, i burnt some butter in the bottom, but i was very pleased cuz i FIXED IT :D
3rd was nice too! i talked to KB ofc and a bit to MW who is super nice but the main thing I love about 3rd is lunch. EC and LP (my BELOVEDSS) have 2nd lunch on B days, so I got to walk to lunch with EC and it was great! also i went thru the lunch line with her and i was pretty full after the soup and grilled cheese in foods so I just got a bottle of water (which i FORGOT in 3rd, grrr) and i made EC get me some veggies so i was really serving pet rabbit lol. anyways after we got back from the line i found that my beloved tippy and LP had SAVED ME A SEATTT (≧◡≦)☆☆☆ i was so happy idk ik it was small but it made me really happy (^ ^)
anywayyssyysysy 4th was super fun as well but good god VV and I are so disruptive that I am positive our classmates are getting tired of us and that mom is going to split us up (T T) we are SO LOUD together, and even while we were testing it was difficult. mom is getting fed up. very very sad but i know our friendship will prevail !!!
after school i went with EW and stelly to the gas station and lo and behold.. (for context, yesterday JJ (in "casual" conversation) asked me what i was doing after school today and (i literally scrambled to find smth cuz i knew he would ask to hang out) i told him i was walking to the gas station.. guess who showed up today??) JJ. we were at the drinks area figuring out what deal to take advantage of (we decided on C4's - two for one) and JJ suddenly "nonchalantly" showed up. we of course were very kind and i griped to him about how much i wanted to try the microwavable chow mein and he was like want me to buy it for you? and i was like no of course not !! (cuz i don't want to feel indebted to him- he already gave me zoo station, that is literally the best thing ever he is exempt from gifts for like 10 years) but guess who ran after us and gave the chow mein to me once we left??? i was of course very thankful but was like please don't spend your money on me!! i feel so bad!!!
anyway once we left we walked back up and JJ texted me asking to hang out once we got back to the school and i was like uhh yeah just wait for us to get back! but i really didn't want to (i know, i know- shallow evil mean person that is greedy and selfish) so we sat in the field area and tried the C4 (tres bad- it was the blue jolly rancher flavor and was way too sweet and had a crazy aftertaste) and EW made a tiny playlist for me (i plan to force her to add to it cuz there's only 7 SONGS >:( ) and stelly filmed a little vlog for ZR and i made a CRAZO FACE but then i was like "oh is this for zach" (lit the standing emoji). it was tres embarrassing. anyway. then stelly (who was skipping track and was VERY paranoid) got really nervous that she'd be spotted so we walked down to the little area in the overflow parking lot and talked and talked. it was super awesome - i made to take lots of pictures and videos. then i got worried cuz i didn't want to make mom stay super late bc she's already had a bad week AND JJ was tweaking out and kept texting me trying to figure out where we were so we went back in (and i got to see emerson in the parking lot!!)
when we walked in guess who we saw LOOKING FOR US outside the library?? JJ. i'm thinking of it in two ways- because i'm very skeptical that that was just a coincidence- 1, that he was looking for us so frequently that we saw it, or that 2, he saw us through the glass and came out so that we wouldn't be able to avoid him. anyway, we went up to our room and kind of talked for a bit, then walked EW down and then we went outside and talked for a bit and then left. i felt bad cuz you could tell JJ wanted to hang out more and without stelly and EW taking my attention (plus we were talking about a bunch of stuff he didn't know about, which was so so bitchy. :( ) but too late to change it now. he texted me wanting to know about my day but i just left him on delivered and then he texted me AGAIN and was like "oh well i hope the rest of it goes well haha" he obv feels snubbed and i feel awful but i really don't want to lead on bc..
i've started to suspect he likes me. well, i've been suspecting for awhile now, but there are just a lot of little things that make me skeptical. and DON'T think i'm just being egotistical. i literally never say this. but it's the way he looks at me when I'm talking, that note, the constant texting and getting mad when i don't text back, the way he acts, buying me stuff all the time, etc. etc. idk there's just something there that doesn't feel like he only wants to be only my friend??? i really really he doesn't actually like me bc there is no chance things would ever progress beyond friendship between us. :(
i forgot to say this, but i saw KW the dance studio across from the gas station and we talked to her a bit.. she was waiting to get picked up by her sister (naomi- who is pregnant and keeping it!) and her sister's bf and told us about how they're bringing her a detox shot because they're going to start drug testing her at school now. it was really sad. we used to be best friends, and now our lives are so so different.. anyway the line was taking really long so he lane hopped (i forget the exact term we used) and drove in the wrong lane to zoom down to us.
anywayz. i love love love my friends so much they are all so special and perfect and amazing yay!!! i love them so much my heart is so full of joy <3
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