figured out that the meth smell really is eric

today was genuinely so exhausting. it started off fun enough but good lord. french was so awful. the last 45 mins were so so horrific that I just shut down. bleh. the worst.

I woke up and took a shower and proved to myself that getting ready is lwk a breeze. I mean I have almost two hours everyday (recently I've been sleeping in a lot- on Tuesday I slept in until 6:52. whoops!) so I guess everybody with such a minimal amount of tasks could get readym but whatever. 

I walked to class with CA, EBlow, and tippy. it was kinda torturous. tippy was literally only talking to EBlow and there isn't much to talk about with CA (I've lost my touch- i dont ever known what to say to anyone anymore.) and so I was kinda just walking in complete silence. then tippy inadvertently said I looked like a boy. goodie! I dont think she meant to, but it didn't exactly help get my spirits up. so that was one of the main things that depleted my energy. 

first was fun.. I talked to EB and TC, who are nice. our teacher continued his tirade of telling us we need to be more locked in if we're "going to go into higher level math classes" bro whatever. he also keeps yelling at ick #3. bro. he's (ick #3) always talking. like never shuts up. and its not like he's talking to his friends or saying anything useful. he says the dumbest stuff kinda just to himself/to the public and I guess expects us to laugh. I laugh sometimes when he says things certain ways, but hes pretty annoying. hush! omg.

flex equals boring. tippy gave me some practice problems from her math 2 class and we played speed for the last 10 mins. that's about all that happened.

in 2nd we did a deep clean and GOOD LORD everyone in that class is inept and air-headed. I was with AB and lillie and all they did was flirt with JT (also in our group) GUYS. LOCK IN. hes not even that charming. it was horrifying. this was for a project grade, too. all they did was stand around. If I get a bad grade cuz of them I am going to flip out. anyway. JT has a new nickname for AB- needoh. she thinks its so cute and "annoying" and kept kicking and play fighting him. like. swatting him. like you'd see a pick me do in basically any piece of media. gah. have some self respect.

third was super boring. I had to work with Caroline, eric, and Solomon. Caroline is nice enough but she's kinda judgemental. also she's the type to say "oh youre so done with us" like no im just sitting here cuz yall are annoying. well I guess that means I am done with them. whatever. also, KB and berlin were gone. :( like they are some of my only friends EEK. 

also, I noticed so many people wearing stripes today, specifically black and white.. very intriguing. 

4th was fun at first.. SA, VV, and I were joking around and stuff, we were very overjoyed that extraordinaire (fredz) didn't win the manie musicale match, blah blah blah. I even talked to jackson, who's super nice, and VV even picked me to be her partner. usually SA snatches her up. anyways, after we finished the partner work, that's when it started. SA had to work with le petit garcon (who, for context, likes her), and she told VV everything but i had to lwk beg her to tell me. it was awful. that brought my energy further down. (basically what he said was a bunch of stuff about the n word- asking her if she'd say it, for how much money, blah blah blah, he said he'd say it for $5.) then SA and VV started passing notes. gah. it was the worst. I had to just sit there while they talked about something and giggled- and they didn't even try to hide it. like guys omg. 

and so I went to bathroom and just stared at myself in the mirror, then went back. they were still passing notes. horror of horrors. I didn't say a single word for like 10 mins and they didn't even notice. 

finally VV (who im not mad at- she was the one that convinced SA to tell me the n word thing) and SA I guess noticed that I wasn't saying anything or moving (which is very unusual for me in there) and SA was like "what do you think vivienne?" and I just shrugged and she was like "you've been very quiet" and I smiled. "by the way. I really like that hoodie on you!" "thanks" super exciting. VV asked if I was okay, and I just said I was tired. sometimes i wish people would see through that but then again, I dont really want to explain what's wrong. I dont want tk have to go through the whole ordeal of them apologizing and me saying it's fine and that im sorry. its the same thing every time. I want them to figure out what's wrong on their own. unfortunately they dont even notice anything is wrong, especially since I say im tired. so its all my fault that nobody notices. anyway. I didn't say basically anything else for the rest of class, then once we left, VV got away from me as soon as possible and I tried to talk to tippy but she was wholly focused on seeing fender so I just gave up. she didn't put up too much resistance. 

I feel almost bipolar, even though I doubt I am. one week ill be super up, the next super down. (istg if anyone reads this and gets mad about this comparison im gonna lose it. yall are all SNOWFLAKES.) (sorry I dont mean that just please leave me alone 💔) anyways. I know everything will get better. time will pass. 

and im not super mad at SA. I kinda doubt she even knows she's being a bitch half of the time. she often hurts my feelings, but then she'll act completely normal, like everything is fine, and I cant stay mad. I think she's just super unaware.

everywhere i collect kindness !!!

 today was really fun!! it was another one of the days where I just talk to everyone and it was great. 

we woke up really early and went to the bagelry for breakfast. i had biscuits with sausage gravy and a hot chocolate. it was okay. i mostly liked the nostalgia and good memories associated with it rather than the food. whatev.

then we went to school and i talked to tippy, CV, and EC - they are so so sweet i love them sm > < i tried to get tippy to braid my hair or smth but she was struggling so i got CV to do it and for some reason she started dutch braids?? (T T) and when the gym let out she wasn't finished so she kind of held me by my hair like a leash. it was so so funny i wish we got a picture. she walked with us to my room and literally like 15 seconds away from my room she LET GO </3 I was like oh my gosh but it's okay. we sat in there and she tried to braid my hair again but she kept taking it out before getting very far and eventually we just gave up and i wore it down. we did talk to thang though, he's pretty nice! he's very funny. i also bonded really well with EC! we've been talking more and more often and i love love love her she's so sweet and swag EEK i love her sm

i'm also bonding sm with CV!! a few days ago i volunteered to be the correspondence person for baking club and we've been talking way more often and getting more comfortable with each other. the thing is, i don't want to intrude into her club, but she literally never tells us when club is going on and we like never have it anymore. :( so i thought it'd be nice just to offer!! JC was supposed to do updates but they're only on instagram, which not everyone has, and also she doesn't always keep up with it soo (T T)' anyways CV really liked the idea so now I'm in charge of that!! hopefully i'll remember. yippee i'm actually so excited about that !! i also love getting closer with CV. she's gold.

anywayyy first was pretty fun!! we got our tests back and i got a 99, which i was super proud of!!! that's prob my best score this semester in that class. (_ _ )' it's fine. grades are just a passing thing. i don't worry about it too much. i usually stay in the A range, occasionally B's, for my final grades, so who cares??? EB and i were joking around abt our scores cuz we were kind of worried about it and she said she was gonna get a 28 and I (STUPIDLY) said "no no you'll get an 82 trust" i wasn't even thinking i just switched the numbers but then almost immediately i was like "wait that sounds soo rude omg" cuz like obv she is so smart she's def gonna get a 100!! i was so stressed about it so i apologized a little later and i really hope i didn't hurt her feelings. 

i talked to thang a bit more.. he's really nice!! he's really eccentric but it's okay. i also talked to TC and (joy of joys!!) saw JM looking at me 😛😛😛 tee hee he's so beautiful. it's really too bad that he's a trumpie. i wonder if he still finds me hot.

flex was okay. i spent the literal entire time trying to figure out how to make an accordion out of paper but i was just rawdogging it with like no inspo or anything which was SO dumb and i got absolutely nothing done. whoops. i was in my beautiful sweetie pie art teacher's flex and she let me go next door to talk to tippy a bit which was so sweet. she also talked to stelly and i :D she's so great i love her. i also saw sassy twin during flex, since it's the same hallway as jrotc.. bro idk if i'll ever stop salivating he is so beautiful yum yum yum. i wonder if he's at the lock in. 

2nd was okay. we made tacos and i got to join AB and JC's group since they had like no one, and i lwk deserted my group so they only had like 2 members as well (whoopsies BUT in my defense ms. teacher lady told me to soo) but i would much rather be with JC. he's literally my only friend in there. well i guess KaW, kaidence, and AB are kind of my friends.. luis and i are friendly as well. but JC is def the one i'm most comfortable around. 

the taco's were lwk bun but black beans + sweet potato is a really good combo!! i need to remember that. maybe i could make chicken, black bean, and sweet potato tacos?? and none of that godawful avocado sauce or mango/pinapple salsa. that was crap. 

i also got to see VV!! sadly we didn't get to walk with each other like usual but i found her by her table in the cafeteria and i gave her a chip tee hee i'm so flirtatious ! she's the best though i love her sm!!!!!!!!!

then i went to third and even though i was super stressed for it it was actually super amazing as well!!!! i talked literally the whole time to berlin and KB. they are such such such cuties. berlin and i are pretty similar. except like she vapes and does a few drugs (weed is confirmed) BUT like who cares she's so cool. she has great outfits. <3 i feel lwk bad because i lied to my teacher that i forgot my project cuz i wasn't even close to finishing but tbh i should've just put it out because a lot of people weren't finished at all either. BW literally only had the cover. idk what he's been doing like gosh dang!! but i walked around with berlin, KB, and him a little. he's nice but goodness gracious sometimes he can't hold a convo to save his life!! 

4th was perfecto as always. me and VV missed SA but she was at a choir concert so we were left to our own devices and with a sub (even better!!!) we finished our work really quickly and did buzzfeed quizzes (my unusual pet is a snail, she is a horse + ferret, and my boy throb (idk either) member is darshan, hers is anthony) and then watched a bunch of yt. we watched the scene where adrien isn't animated while riding the moped in mlb, a try not to laugh mlb vid from 2020 (i used to watch it all the time- the one with the red thumbnail! -and now it is like not funny at all but i was still laughing cuz obv i was giddy to hang out with my friend!), and a bunch of those videos that are like unedited vlogs and whatnot- vids without a bunch of editing or views; a man drinking pepsi (or, as he spelled it, pepis) with hot sauce, a man eating a hot pocket and drinking a yoohoo as fast as could (4 MINUTES. GANG), a roblox "sad story" from a bunch of years ago (it was the one where his dog dies and then his wife gets cancer so he goes into the military and then dies all-quiet-on-the-western-front-style), etc. the main kicker was this vid of some random asian man with an eye filter singing creep by radiohead. it wasn't that bad but it wasn't that good, and i wanted to hear the chorus, but wrong move - he said the f word and we started laughing really hard bc the freshmen guys (LE and le petit garcon- JP was gone) were staring at us and kinda laughing/trying to figure out what we were doing) and the sub was like "maybe find something else to watch" whoopsss (T T)' we ended off by watching a glmv of we are charlie kirk with dean withers, kristi noem, candace owens, and jd vance. the basic premise was that they were mourning kirky's death but then the woke libs were like trying to make sure they were REAL libs and then they all turned in demons and sang we are charlie kirk. it was great fun.

after school it just got better!!! EW, BW, and i all walked to bojangles, cuz BW works there, i needed something to do (cuz i had to wait until 5:15 to be picked up), and BW was going to be working, so i invited EW!! we needed bonding time, and she always loves walking. it was great!! JT works there (horror of horrors) but it's okay we didn't mind (me and EW). we combined our money ($11) and bought a 3pc supreme combo. it had 3 chicken tenders, a biscuit, a drink, and a side- we got bo rounds. the lady was super sweet and gave us an extra tender so we could get 2 each <333 i loved her omg. i've found that being kind to everybody (and playfulness helps a lot too!) is very important, because then people will be kind to you too!! yippee i finally followed the preschool rules. 

anyways we hung out in there, took a few pictures, and ate our snack. then her mom came to pick her up and was so so sweet and gave me a ride back to the hs so that i didn't have to be picked up at bojangles. plus, i'm not sure that they would have let me loiter for another hour. whoops. i just sat in the alcoves until dad came and picked me up. i let EW have our starry. aren't i so sweet??

daily pic- (we are SO cute in this trust)  

talk so much you could call me the talker

today was so fun!!! I talked to so many people both before and after school and it made me so so happy ^ ^ 

first off, we had a two hour delay today, so I slept in a bit, which was superb, and then I made ACTUAL BREAKFAST for once - a burned bagel w cream cheese and jam. plus a hot chocolate. it's a wonder I didn't get sick.

then when we got to school VV and SA and I were taking pics of each other's cars (well, they were on our group and I kinda just joined in whoopsies) and that was cute and THEN I walked in and talked to EW, MC, and stelly in front of the gym, and sassy twin ANDDD ZW were looking at me ‼️😻 (can you tell im on my phone?) and then BW came up and I talked to him and then we walked upstairs together and I was lwk hopeful I would be able to talk to CB, but unfortunately not.. we didn't even go in the room they usually hang out in. what a shame. I did get to talk to him and SD tho so that was cool. and then we walked down to BW's room and then I went up with someone else, maybe LB??? and found LP and TC together in the hall. LP was braiding TC's hair, so I talked to them for a sec and then walked with LP back to her room and THEN went to my class and talked to EB and TC abt the hw. they were both very sweet and amiable so that was fun. 

then in flex, I sat with tippy, kaia, and Abby, and asked RS for help on the review packet which is like the first time I've talked to him for quite awhile. he was okay. he kinda didn't want to talk to me. whoops. 

anyways we went to third next, and I talked to KB and BW again.. BW wanted to name his book "hitlers revenge". genuinely what is his problem??? like no???? 

lunch was ok. I thought we were gonna cook in foods, so I didn't pack or buy lunch (I did buy chips and stelly gave me her fig bar) but surprise surprise, we didn't. I was very hungry.

2nd was bleh. we did notes and a foldable. very boring. I did talk to JS a lot though, whos nice, and our teacher called out knox for picking his nose. it was great.

french was definition perfect, of course, and VV and SA and I talked most of the time. we've been behaving, and will try not to yap while mom's talking or anything. Simon was crashing out like always, but it's better than yesterday. 

recap of yesterday's simon events:

- interrupted mom to tell her that it was 2:58, and she should keep an eye on the time, he was just letting her know

- sighed HEAVILY like 10 times

- had his mic unmited like the whole time, and when mom would mute him, he would UNMUTE AGAIN. 

- interrupted mom AGAIN when we were almost ready to go and was like "sometimes ill be talking and you'll just interrupt me" (like huh??) "im just informing you that I'll be staying after dismissal for help with my Google form." apparently that took like 1 minutes. gang be so fr. 

anyways after school I walked down with VV, SA, and tippy, and we met BW at the bottom of the stairs, as well as KB, VF, and bird!! it was just a great conglomerate and then SA, tippy, bird, and I walked over to the choir room to drop bird and SA off, then walked the other way, when we picked up KB and walked her to the library, then we met EW and we walked tippy to the car line and then me and EW walked around for like 45 mins?? we went all over and talked to stelly and river w/ one of his little friends in the gym, apparently river has a gf that he's been dating since Monday, but he only found out today! jh was also in there, like super crazy. he and his sister are in the badminton club. how exciting! 

then we walked around some more and met up with ariah, who isn't that bad ig, but we aren't really friends, so it was kinda awkward. then we walked to mom's room so I could get a snack and I was like keep walking if you want! cuz I didn't want them to have to wait and also I didn't want mom to feel obligated to give them any snacks or anything, and EW was like "we didn't mean to scare you off!" and had the completely wrong idea and went downstairs to her mom's room. :(

and so I called her and went down there and we talked to her mother about vapers and Waylon for a bit and then walked ariah to meet her mom at the main doors and had to dodge all the track kids running around. it was very special. 

we didn't do much more. we just walked around upstairs for like 2 mins and apparently two randoms downstairs pointed at us?? who even knows. the one in green (we both wanted him) looked like JM all grown up. joy! 

then I walked her downstairs to get her stuff and then to the main doors, where she was picked up, and now I'm hanging out in mom's room. idk when we're gonna leave. gang LETS GOOOO

(also!! I saw RT, MS, YC, and Kacey going downstairs!! they're so cute i miss them. we'll except Kacey. whatev.)

how i long to be a gal in 2002

 i just picked 2002 at random.. i should prob do more research. whatevs !!

i went through three old gyaru blogs that anatama linked on spacehey and they were so so cool.. idk i think gyaru have a lot of fun a j'adore!!! i don't think i'm cool enough that i would be able to hang out with them, tho. :p i'm way too basic. all that's been running through my head is 'i must be cooler. i must wear cooler clothes.' just over and over. it's been like this for maybe a week?? idk i just wish i was the type of person that alt people would automatically think would be nice. if that makes sense. no, i sound totally bigoted. 

those three blogs were so cool, though!! i sourced these two things to bring back to my blog;   goodie!! they're so cutesy hehe. 

one thing those blogs inspired in me is that i absolutely must start putting pictures in my blog!!! it is essential. i can always create some sort of face blur(??) hopefully no one could take it off cuz eek!!!! i don't think that many people have access to this tho so that's good :D

 school has been okay. it's kind of monotonous. not much ever really happens. i have been getting closer to EW tho, and SA!!! they're such sweeties. SA is lwk strange sometimes but that is a-okay. she's got good intentions. 

in jj news.. he asked me if BW and i were dating, to which i vehemently denied such an idea, and he said THEO told him that we were. which like. hell no, he's literally close with BW, and i'm pretty sure he knows he's dating VV. this is a total conspiracy, but i'm scared that jj is trying to like figure out my relationship status to like slip in or smth??? idk ik that's kinda rude and egotistical but i'm like 98% sure he likes me and tbh i wouldn't put it past him, CB said he was really weird towards people he liked. (also, caroline asked if we were together?? like no???)

1st is fun, as always. we're doing piecewise functions. tres exiting! (exciting. i have to clarify T T) TC is nice, and so are thang and xavier, who sit behind us. thang is like jh if jh was less weird and racist. if that makes sense. our teacher has it out for RS, ick #3, and thang. good lord. ick #3 is SO ANNOYING. he is always yapping to like himself ig and commenting on everything our teacher says. bro. stop. you are not funny. unfortunately he kinda is sometimes. (T T )' he sometimes says something that'll make me giggle, and that just eggs on his bad behavior. whoops. 

 2nd is boring as ever, but i'm getting closer with my tablemates. they're sweet. :3 and they make that ridiculous class bearable. luis is okay too, and ZW and AB i suppose aren't as bad as everyone else. i still don't like them very much. i wish i could talk to emo brayden. he seems really cool. 

AB is running for class president! guess against who. FLIPPING HARPER. BRO. HOW DO EXPECT TO WIN (T T) anyway. i promised her i'd vote for her but i'm not gonna. sorry to break a promise but she would do an absolutely terrible job. 

3rd is awful as well. i despise LK who sits right behind me, but i am getting closer with KB and BW!! unfortunately BW has been acting up.. today we found a bunch of pipe cleaners and i wanted to make teddy bears with them (or at least attempt to) but BW grabbed one and made a swastika? like. genuinely what is his issue. i still made him a teddy bear, but he just let BQ mess it up. are you kidding. 

4th is the best class i have, hands down. we totally goof off more than we need to but it's literally not only us!! the freshmen in the back (LE, JP, and le petit garcon) are totally wild too. just not as much. whoops. 

on thursday i was walking around with bird and EW and we looked into the commons and we saw LE and i pointed him out to them because obv. unfortunately he chose THAT moment to look up. are we kidding (_ _ ) anyway hopefully he doesn't think i like him. he's so egotistical that unfortunately i can't rule it out. definition a pain.

 in other news!!!!!!!! i have started trying to learn to curl my hair and this was my first attempt ever - 

c'est tres mignon~~ 

anyway that's my update. hopefully i start writing more often ! 

giggle mcgagglepants today

 day 1 no phone. i got it taken cuz i don't do my chores. bleh.

 today was awesome!! well besides dad pitching a fit and taking our phones. but that's fine. it doesn't bother me too much.

first was pretty fun- me and TC laughed like the whole time and it really set me up for a good day! :) she's so sweet even if she keeps making fun of that ONE TIME that i cackled. grr. 

 flex was okay. i talked to DL and ian and they were both pretty sweet! i feel like I interrupted DL a lot though I really need to work on it (_ _ )'

2nd and 3rd equals okay. tres boring. 

4th was awesome!! we did our manie musicale brackets which was fun.. the one that won for me was nouici by jyeuhair. the song is super catchy and sounds like one you'd hear in a really hard edit, but the mv is super annoying cuz it's all ai!! like it's totally unnecessary too. there's no reason for it to be there. no fear won for VV and chapeau for SA. sillies. 

today we did some weird activity where we had to close our eyes (i don't remember why) and apparently LE kept opening his eyes and peeking BUT the main part of this story is that whenever we were instructed to open our eyes we both !!! looked right at each other !!! or well his head was pointing towards me and i looked at him. i'm just being weird ignore me </3

not much really happened today whoops.. (T T) 

today when tippy and i walked down to go outside (which we ultimately decided against, and went back inside to mom's room) we were standing near the stair doors in the lobby and we saw JM so i was like "there's your beloved!" and we were laughing and then ICK #3 WALKED BY AND TIPPY LITERALLY SAID "there's your true love!" and i just went "oh?" AND HE LITERALLY TURNED AROUND AGGHAGHHHGHAG 

if this creates an issue i will be displeased.